I know how it feels when your stomach flips. Because mine flips too. Its hard to describe how it feels. But i know its a feeling of fear mixed with the i "dont know whats gonna happen next" feeling.  But its better that both our stomachs flip than yours flipping twice as fast right hahaha.

But it really sucks that i cant do anything about it, and sometimes i cant 100% understand. Circumstances are really quite crazy now , and concentrating on it wont change anything.

Someone who wont change. Someone who wont stop loving. Someone who knows and understands you. Someone who paid the biggest price so that you wont have to feel what you are feeling now. Someone who paid the biggest price so that you can have peace. Someone whos standing now with his arms wide open, calling you to him . Someone who i think i would choose to concentrate on, his goodness. I think that by now you probably would know who is that guy im talking about.

And i think he was talking to me when i was having chem tuition.

" Have you never heard? Have you never understood? The Lord is the everlasting God, the creator of all earth. He never grows weak and weary. No one can measure the depths of his understanding. He gives power to the weak and strength to the powerless. Even youths will grow weak and tired, and young men will fall in exhaustion. But those who trust in the lord will find new strength. They will soar on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint."                                                           Isaiah 40:28-31.

I found the cure to stomach flips. and its peace. Standing firm, knowing that he wont change despite everything else that is changing. Ya because he wont ever lah. Ever ever.

Bestfriends are Bestfriends.


I guess its ok to stay calm when things happen that you dont really understand. Which makes you not know what to say, which makes you not know what to do, dont know what to feel.

But you know that things are'nt alright, and you start thinking about all the what ifs.

But you still stay calm, because you know hes here, here in the storm.

When you shout " Are you anywhere near!" , you hear the unmistakable voice:" I am. "

 Ahhhhhh but you dont feel it, definitely dont see if, but still you trust, trust that he knows it all, controls it all, because he is the great i am, everything else changes, but he is the same yesterday, today and forever.
Its ok not to understand right , i mean i dont think we'll understand even if he told us.

But what if the strongest thing to do is trust, trust not that things will go well,

But that his ways are always perfect.

And i shout again " Just where are you!"
"Just in the middle of it all."

And i want to give back this post to you my friend, and i hope that this might encourage you by one small bit.
And may you hear his voice, in the midst of all this, his voice in the stillness, because it is usually at these times where he speaks the most.............


HI! Im still trying to find out what that word on top means, and sometimes im not very good at it. Im sure it goes above me laughing at your jokes and you laughing at mine right. Right. Right. If you dont know me much, i can tell you that im a guy who isnt very good at expressing how he feels and like most of the time doesnt even show how he feels at all, and isnt very good at talking. But im sure i can listen. Abit blur sometimes, when ill forget how to go to the place i went just 10 secs ago. But im sure you'll know everything abit me if you just hang out with me more! Well, so far i think i just got the right amount, the people who hang out with me not because im tall, but because im me.

i like you. cant believe i thought you had lvl 10 sarcasm.

My cell leader for 5 years and counting, you thought me something about frankness, you'll always be my bro, happy 21st . Buy you salad soon. Although your teacher mode is quite irritating, i like it alot.

Cell! Still alive and kicking.

You'll always be my popiah

Those times on the phone with you really made my day. And you're not a loser.

HAHAHAHAHA.  Its great that i met you.

And you too sarah! Will lend you $96 anyday.

And you all, my dear 1t36 friends

Sorry aaron you're like cut off from this photo but i really gotta tell you that im happy that im your friend! And i cannot find a way to repay you when you lent me your chinese dictionary ytd. Im so happy you're in my pw group, i should take a photo with you next time! And xin yi! My other pw groupmate! You are very responsible. I like you. And my chinese buddy also. I like you.

K friends, you think i got to know you all by chance. Of course not lah. Its about some guy up there. Oh ya, and ill give all of you the most precious thing i can give, my time.

2nd post.
Hey! You knew how it felt right, to kinda get woken up all of a sudden and feel all lethargic and shitty after that. You knew how it felt right, to see angry faces after you napped for abit. You knew how it felt right, to feel really tired of being tired, and just wanna lie down for abit. 

I mean you were there what, on that boat out at sea, even though the rain was heavy, napping . You were tired what. Of everything. You didnt even care about the heavy rain around you, didnt care of what people think. Then your best friends just had to wake you up, you must have felt as if you just got hit by a rocket. Maybe the first few words that came out of your mouth was what the heck. 

They were shouting for you to wake up, that the storm will destroy everything, like the storm will destroy anything.

I feel im pretty much like you there, just that i cant calm the storm. Thats why i wanna ask you to come into my boat, maybe even nap with me for abit. But its pretty cool huh! The guy whom even the winds and waves obey does normal stuff too. Like nap, and im sure he does it often. Thats what kept you going right?

Ahhh i know it might get abit boring or really wierd that i keep talking about you all the time, but how do i tell people that ive been there, or that youve been there, that i care, and you care, and know how we feel? 

ok! maths time.

I wanna get away from here for awhile

I told myself I had to go on a holiday away from this world for while, maybe spend sometime up there. Sometimes it just sucks to stay here for too long.


 Took my keys, wore my cool new adidas shoes and made my way there. I’m sure they won’t mind me in my white singlet and dark blue boxers right. I wanted to see the man himself. Probably catch up or something.


And there I was, outside that ultimate huge gate that’s kinda glowing. Looked like the one at isaac’s house, just much bigger. I don’t know what to call it but some call it the gates of heaven. Looks locked to me.


And there he was, standing next to that huge gate. I think his name was Michael or was it Gabriel. Don’t know man. But he had brown curly hair, slightly tanned skin, really sharp nose, he wasn’t buff, but I could still see his abs, like poh will call it, durians. And he looks pretty fit. Maybe about Joshua yee standard. Got defined biceps also. AND HIS WINGS, were really really feathery and shiny. But I don’t dare ask him open show me. And he didn’t look like he was happy to see me at all. I got up close. HE’S TALLER THAN ME. Like I think 195. I wanted to ask him if he wanted to know my friend Gracelynn. But I don’t dare man. After he pao me with his wings or something.


I told him I wanted to see the man himself, at about my usual volume, and im sure he heard me. But he gave me an ass reply of “ you gotta be dead to be in here “. AND I SHOUTED BACK AT HIM THAT I PROBABLY WOULD BE IF HE DIDN’T LET ME IN.


SUDDENLY, I heard like the cranking of gears, and the door was opening! I could hear hillsongs and planetshakers in the background. And of course that Gabriel micheal whatever guy couldn’t believe it. And there HE was, probably about the same height as me, wearing Bermudas and slippers, but he was still pretty far away, I couldn’t see his face, and there was no one else, only me and him. I shouted as loud as I could “ HEY! ARE YOU THE GUY WHO CAN UNTIE KNOTS!”

I heard his soft whisper of “yes” from far away, which sounded like it was just next to my ear, which really made me wonder how he did that.


And so I poured my heart out to him. And god laughs at jokes too.




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